


Remedy for Your Soul

by lazydewdrop



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 07:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazydewdrop/pseuds/lazydewdrop
Summary: "Your name is Dave Strider, and you blame yourself for the death of your best friend – John Egbert." Dave and his feelings after John's death, and Rose being an understanding friend that helped kept Dave's shit together.





	Remedy for Your Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Another angst? I just wanted to write again in thanks for all the kudos I've got for my first fic!! They make me happy and I actually feel like writing more!! :D 
> 
> I promise it's not as painful as you think. Think of it as a little story that lets us see what Dave and Rose were up to prior to returning to the Alpha timeline. Before being super awesome at the game of course.
> 
> (holy shit i can't figure out how to go about creating the css style sheet for their pesterchum dialog i forgot everything school has taught me)

* * *

 

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and you blame yourself for the death of your best friend – John Egbert.

 

You’re all excited to play this game; John was the most enthusiastic one of them all. You’re excited too, of course, but you don’t show it. You’re the cool kid, after all. You showed your indifference and lack of interest online, and kept pushing him to play with Rose and Jade instead.

 

Maybe if you had been more honest with your feelings, you could’ve changed what happened.

 

It’s been one month since both you and Rose entered the session, both John and Jade gone from the world. Not like there’s a world anymore or anything. You and Rose both try your best to unearth clues, searching for answers and clearing the game as much as you can. You have a plan, and the plan is in motion.

 

You are going to go back in time to save John.

 

There are down times during your quest, times where you stop and think. You would stop and ponder on yourself; will you be able to pull through and actually save the timeline? Will you be able to convince John not to listen to the shitty troll and actually save his butt? What if it happens again? What if something worse happens? You’re not sure what you fear most: you failing to save John again or John dying because of your choice.

 

You heave a shaky breath, willing yourself to calm the fuck down. You look up to the hazy heat of your land, waves after waves of pure heat and steam all around you. It doesn’t help clear your head, but somehow it makes you relax. The heat reminds you of home. Some of the nakodiles have come up to you, nakking and trotting around like they’re happy to see you.

 

You decide it’s enough of moping around and actually get some shit done.

 

Months passed by, both you and Rose are getting better at the game by unexpected margins. You’re proud of yourself, and of Rose; you feel that you can actually make things work now. Your time tables help you out immensely, travelling around your land and discovering more insights on the game’s structure and it’s intrinsically complicated goals. These are all valuable knowledge for you if you were to go back in time and help John and the others win the game.

 

You take a break from time-hopping, settling down near one of the metal structures of your land. You sigh softly and took off your shades, blinking them twice before opening fully. You take off your shades from time to time, careful to place them into the breast pocket of your suit. You let your head rest on top of one raised knee, arms going around your bent leg.

 

Times like these are when you let your mind drift. You think back to those times you’ve spent with John; all those silly conversations you had about his non-platonic crush on Nic Cage, and all those times he teased you about your incurable infatuation with apple juice. You let a small smile grace your lips, reminiscing the past has always made you smile, even if it’s for a small moment.

 

Because not long after you board on the Train to the Past, it decides to take a turn towards a tunnel where you keep some of your more repressed emotions – your non-platonic crush on John. His blue texts always manage to make you smile on the inside (you won’t let your Bro catch you smiling or you’ll never hear the end of it). His signature dumb emoji that only he uses is enough to make your heart make a little happy flutter. John may make fun of your irony and roll his eyes at your sick raps, but you know he means well. He also thinks you’re really cool.

 

You had a hard time keeping your poker face in check for the first few days after your birthday when he sent you those sweet shades and the heartfelt letter. You had let yourself smile feely under the safety of your blankets whenever you went to bed, falling into a comfortable slumber with thoughts of John.

 

It only made it harder when you found out he died all those months ago. You couldn’t eat or sleep, tuning out Rose’s comforting words and stern advice to pull you out of your self-loathe. You were supposed to be his best friend, and best friends look out for each other. You didn’t, and now he’s dead. You often woke up with puffy and very tired eyes. Rose had tried her best to protect you from imps invading your house for the first few days while you stayed in bed and moped.

 

She must have reached her limit because Rose decided to pay you a visit. She stopped by LOHAC on the seventh day, wielding needles and looking very pissed. You didn’t bother to put up your shades, letting her see your swollen red eyes and dried tear streaks all over your cheeks.

 

“What is wrong with you, Dave?” Rose tried her best to deliver her question in a calm manner, but silent anger managed to seep through her every word. She had her lips in a thin frown, before sitting down next to you on your bed. She huffed and breathed, as if trying to calm herself down.

 

“Dave, I know you’re sad that John passed away. I am, too. But we must move on, we must move on for his and Jade’s sake.” Her voice was soft when she said that, her words laced with bitterness. You know she’s upset about the death of your friends, but she couldn’t possibly understand the pain and grief and regret you’re going through. She couldn’t because she doesn’t love John like you do.

 

You’re not sure what gave you away, but Rose’s violet eyes immediately soften by a fracture. As if she had read your thoughts, she turned away before looking back at you with sympathetic eyes. She gingerly reached out to grab your arm, you let her.

 

“You’re right. I don’t understand nor feel what you’re going through, but that doesn’t mean I cannot imagine it. It hurts to lose the people we love, and it can be hard to accept the fact that they have left us. But Dave, sooner or later we must move on.”

 

“I know!” You snapped harshly at her, making Rose retrieve her hand from your arm and back to her side. You grimaced and clenched your teeth before trying again, “I know, okay? Don’t you think I get it? Crying in bed won’t make anything better. Blaming myself for the shit that happened won’t make anything better. It won’t…” You felt the tears coming back up but you don’t stop, letting them roll back down your cheeks.

 

“It won’t bring John back to life.”

 

You buried your head back in your knees, gritting your teeth painfully to hold in the scream that threatened to spill out of your mouth. You wonder how long it had been, before Rose wrapped her arms around you and brought you into a tight but gentle hug. Days of being alone with your own destructive and paralysing thoughts have made your body and heart cold. Rose’s embrace brought some warmth back in to you, and you froze in place.

 

You chanced a peek out from the top of your eyelashes, and you were warmed once again by a loving and caring smile from your friend. Rose’s violet eyes carried pain but there is also something else – there was also determination.

 

“Dave. What if I tell you there is a way that we can bring John back to life?”

You lifted your head fully to gaze at her, disbelief and warning in your eyes.

 

“Rose, if you’re just saying things to make me feel better – “

 

“No, Dave. I mean it. It’s a very real and possible proposition.”

 

Rose almost rolled her eyes, but she released her embrace and sit back upright. Her smile returned as she tiled her head to the side.

 

“Dave, trust me when I say we have more than enough power right now to save both John and Jade. In fact, we can even save ourselves from this entire pointless doomed session.”

 

Fear flashed across her eyes for a second, before they disappeared and were replaced by a glint of rebellion. She waited for you to speak. When you said nothing, she continued.

 

“Specifically, my plan is for us to scout this game as much as we can. Info gathering, solving puzzles and looking for answers. Once we have confident in our skills and knowledge about this game, we will go back in time to the point before John took off for his seventh gate. We will be able to stop him from making that terrible mistake, thus saving him and all of us.”

 

You had listened to her intently, mind already reeling and taking in her words as if they’re the gospel truth. You had a chance to save John, and you’re going to give all you’ve got to make it possible. Rose could see that your mind is putting the pieces together, and as your eyes widen a fraction, she knew that some of the pieces don’t match. Before you could speak, she stopped you with a raised hand.

 

“The key to our success is none other than you, Dave – our hero of time. You may not know this, but you possess the ability to control and manipulate time. Time is your little bitch, and it will follow your every bidding and command.”

 

You smirked a little. Rose was trying to lifting your spirits by throwing in metaphors that she knows you like, and you appreciate her for that.

 

“How come you know so much about me more than me?” You retorted in a playful manner.

 

Rose only gave you a small frown and deadpanned, “Because, Dave, some of us are actually paying attention to the game.”

 

“Hey, some of us take our grieving very seriously. I’m a widow, it is me.”

 

“And I’m saying your complexion looks terrible and you should go eat something before you start on your quest to save your princess.”

 

You laughed a little at that, before reaching out to hug her. Rose hugged back, giving your back a small pat. You were grateful for having such a caring friend, psychoanalytical bullshit and all. If Rose wasn’t there to kick your butt out of self-loathe valley, you would’ve died from starvation. Probably.

 

Your iShades makes a noise, notifying you of a text message. It’s Rose. You slip them back onto your face and read the text.

 

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG].

 

TT: I can see you’re having one of your little breaks again. How are you feeling?

TG: are u stalking me again

TT: Dave, I have a magic ball that lets me see what I want to see. What do you think?

TG: cant a dude get some privacy for just a god damn minute jesus lalonde

TG: i feel good thx for asking

TT: Very well. As long as you’re not feeling under the weather, I have good news to share.

TG: lay it on me

 

You finish talking to Rose and continue with what you were doing. You are a man on a mission.

 

You get your sword out of your sylladex as two humongous monsters approach. You wield them comfortably in your hands, shades reflecting the glow from the surround light. Your determination is back, and your heart is strong.

 

This time, you will be the one to save John.

 

 

 


End file.
